


Promises

by Katuary



Series: Alistair Theirin & Elissa Cousland [5]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: Angst, Dark Ritual, F/M, Friendship betrayal, Hurt/Comfort, King Alistair (Dragon Age), King Alistair and Queen Cousland, Morrigan's ritual, Protectiveness, Queen Cousland (Dragon Age), Redcliffe (Dragon Age)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-24
Updated: 2019-10-24
Packaged: 2020-11-27 05:47:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20943311
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Katuary/pseuds/Katuary
Summary: "She'd always protected him, and nothing would change that. Not even the Archdemon itself."The last night in Redcliffe before the Battle of Denerim, waiting for the end of the ritual.





	Promises

Elissa was still growing used to the idea of servants taking care of her needs. Commanding someone to do things she'd taken care of herself for nearly a year felt unnecessary. Unworthy. Highever was fading from her memory already, and so many of the old noble gestures and habits were far out of practice. And here she was due to become Ferelden's Queen. 

Ordering a bath drawn wasn't difficult, as it wasn't for her. It was the only thing she could think of to do. The smallest comfort she could think to provide.

She went about her usual nighttime routine, but she did so alone. Rather, she _tried_ to go about her routine as normal, but couldn't seem to make it past removing her shield and weapons. Armor felt like comfort, despite being safer inside Redcliffe Castle than they ever had been camping on the road. 

She paced the room, removing her gloves on one pass so she could more easily push her fingers through her short hair. Anything would have been a good distraction, but Alistair could be back any moment. She refused to leave him to find an empty room for comfort after...afterwards. She sighed.

She knew it wasn't exactly logical, how she'd protected him from the very first. 

Small ways. Lashing out against Goldanna when she dared to accuse him of killing their mother by the accident of his birth.

Large ways. Insisting on being the champion to stand against Loghain, despite being half his size and wearing half the armor. 

Selfish ways. Knowing he didn't want the crown, but suspecting exactly what Anora would do to him if she were chosen instead, she'd declared they'd rule together. Made herself future Queen. _So...strange story, tell me if you've heard this one: this fellow gets made king and then gets engaged all on the same night_. It didn't occur to her until afterwards that she hadn't exactly _proposed_ to him, and that announcing you'd marry someone while still covered in blood from the _beheading you'd just carried out _wasn't exactly romantic.

_Stupid _ways. Slipping down to the Deep Roads to search for a Paragon without him, just to keep him away from the bulk of the darkspawn horde as long as possible. She knew she'd rightfully never hear the end of that one; it had been one of the few times they'd really fought. But...she'd seen the Archdemon for herself that day. Seeing that..._thing_...in person was much different from the nightmares they shared. She didn't regret sparing him the sight.

She'd always protected him, and nothing would change that. Not even the Archdemon itself.

Elissa knew it was hoping too much for their primary plan to work.

Even Riordan lacked any confidence. _If possible, the final blow should be mine to make. I am the eldest, and the taint will not spare me much longer. But if I fail, the deed falls on you._ He had stopped just short of literally pointing at her with those words. Her own feelings aside, it made sense she was the second choice. She, after all, wasn't the last of the Theirin line and due to be crowned King. 

Leaving the room for her own bed, she'd quelled her panic and locked the strategy in her mind. Primary plan: Riordan kills the Archdemon. Backup plan: she'd do it herself. Alistair was a distant third she refused to think about.

Then Morrigan had appeared in her room. _I have a plan, you see. A way out. The loop in your hole._

A possibility that no one needed to die. Selfish or strategic? Naive or a safeguard? Maker help her, she'd take any insurance she could have. 

She had told him everything. Asking this of Alistair was cruel enough, but doing so without explanation was a betrayal she could never fathom. 

_And believe me when I say you will not hate this quite so much as you believe._ It seemed Morrigan wasn't opposed to cruelty herself, even to one she had as well as named her sister. She had to know what this would cost both Wardens, but whatever she was gaining was an apparently worthwhile reward. Still, if this worked, they would have their lives. Elissa supposed she should thank her for that before she disappeared, if nothing else.

She shook her head and settled on the braided rug in front of the obnoxiously cheerful, warmly crackling fireplace. She wanted to jab it with the poker just to have an outlet for her frustration. How long had it been? How much longer would she keep waiting?

Footsteps. 

She knew that walk anywhere, even muffled on the castle's thick rugs. Elissa rose to her feet, crossing the room in long strides. She opened the door to find Alistair, knuckles raised to knock. They both froze for a beat, jewel blue eyes staring into warm brown. She opened her mouth to speak, but stopped at the uncertainty on his face. She shook her head and threw her arms around his shoulders. The desperate embrace he offered in return was relief she didn't deserve. Their apologies tangled as they clung to one another.

"I _never_ should have..."

"I'm _so sorry_, Liss..."

Elissa gave a watery chuckle, burying her face into the crook of his neck, "Why in the Maker's name are _you_ apologizing? I'm the one who _forced you to..._"

He didn't speak, only tightened his hold, rested his head atop hers, inhaled deeply. She allowed herself another moment, trying to remind herself why she'd put the man she loved through all this. In the moment, it had been calculation, strategy, a ward. Now that it was over with, no excuse measured up. She was manipulative. She was selfish. She was everything she feared. A confession escaped her lips in a whisper,

"I never should have said anything..."

Strong hands swept under her thighs. He lifted her off her feet before she could say another word, slammed the heavy door shut, and set her heavily on the bed. 

"You _don't_ believe that," he insisted, kneeling before her, "Tell me you don't."

She shrugged and let him take her hands. Both pairs were calloused and battle-scarred, even before they met. Now, she knew every mark and divot he possessed better than her own. She traced a fresh scar down his right wrist. Courtesy of an unlucky guard at Fort Drakon. 

”Elissa?”

”I can’t. I...” She smiled bleakly, “I just keep fulfilling all your worst fears, don’t I?”

"Alright, I'll bite." Alistair hauled himself to his feet and settled next to her on the bed. He didn't let go of her hands. "What are you talking about?"

"Oh, I don't know..." she started, leaning her head on his shoulder, "How about...'Surprise! You're going to be King whether you like it or not, because I said so?'" His quiet chuckle shook against her ear. 

"You forgot the part where I'm not doing that alone.” He ghosted a line down her ring finger, coaxing a brief shadow of a smile from her. “What else do you have?"

She shrugged. Best to rip the bandage off sooner rather than later. "How about everything that happened tonight?"

"Liss."

"I made you go to bed with someone you don't care about. Make a _child_ with someone you don't care about, a child you won't be allowed to raise or meet.”

"Liss."

"And all I had to do was ask you to _trust_ me, and...no questions asked. As if I should just _be allowed_ to make that decision for you."

"_Elissa._" His tone was enough to stop her. He released her hands to cup her face, gently turning her chin so he looked her in the eye. "I'm not stupid. This was to save _your_ _life._ You would do the same for me."

She smiled weakly, pressed her forehead against his. "Of course I would."

"Then what is there to talk about?"

”I...” For once, her silver tongue failed her. “I don’t know.”

”Then we should probably try to sleep. It’s a long march to Denerim. And all this won’t keep us from getting squished by the Archdemon if we’re too tired to pay attention.”

Maker, he was joking about that already? She hoped it wasn’t for her sake alone. Elissa nodded against his shoulder.

“You’re right.”

”_That’s_ new. Isn’t that my line?”

That finally got a short laugh out of her, and a light sock to his shoulder. 

“Ow! I bruise easily, you know!”

”You have armor on, you weakling!”

“So do you!”

”I have bare hands!”

“Fine, fine, you win!” he laughed and kissed the tip of her nose, making it crinkle. Even that small affection, coupled with the teasing, nearly broke her back down to tears. Refusing to give in, she leaned forward to kiss his grinning mouth instead. He tasted like salt, another reminder of how she’d hurt him. 

No. She wouldn’t dwell on that any longer. What was done was done, and they needed to move forward to survive. She lingered in the kiss a while longer, humming with approval when he cupped the base of her skull to pull her closer. When she finally pulled away, everything felt briefly normal again.

Possibly the last scrap of normalcy they’d have. One way or another. She would hold onto it.

**Author's Note:**

> Ugh, why does Morrigan have to be such a jackass about the ritual? My Warden is always best buddies with her, and Morrigan’s making light of having sex with her boyfriend (or fiancé). Rude.


End file.
